Am I an Adult Yet?

I have been doing a lot of big kid things recently. I graduated from college, got a full time job and a dog, I even moved into my own apartment and set up the utilities all by myself. Call me naive but I for sure thought I would at least get some kind of certificate for these brave acts, or maybe the government would deposit a “congratulations you’re an adult!” lump sum into my bank account that they had been withholding from my paychecks until I got a real job. Spoiler alert if you haven’t reached this phase of your life yet BECAUSE THAT DOESN’T HAPPEN. (Although DT you should look into that bank account thing)

If you’ve been spending all your time waiting at the mail box for the official letter that tells you that play time is over and you’re an adult now, don’t hold your breath. You don’t get a letter either. The universe sends other subtle ways of knowing. Let me clue you in to a few of them. Did you wake up one morning and have an earth shattering realization that you couldn’t have beer and French fries for every meal? Welcome to Adulthood. Maybe you just clicked “enroll” on your own health insurance plan? Congratulations You Made It. Did you just have a conversation with your doctor where you never had to say, “hang on let me call my mom and ask.”? Yep. You’re a grown up.

All of these things happened to me, but they weren’t what really clued me in (although I probably should have seen it coming with all of those things happening.) You know what did? I found a hair on my chin that was both longer and darker than any of my chin hairs have permission to be. I was instantly reminded of all the times my grandmother ask me to pluck her chin hairs because she couldn’t see them. Oh young me! If only you had really prepared yourself then, this wouldn’t be such a rude awakening. Just so you know, I plucked the hair, but what an abrupt arrival at the adulthood station. The hair will grow back and I will continue to pull it out until one day I forget, or it becomes surrounded by so many of it’s brethren that one hair is no longer that big of a deal.

I think chin hairs are like the secret sign that you can’t escape. They are like the prison tats of the outside world. Once you have one, everyone knows. You can’t use the excuse of “Oh, I’m just a kid, I didn’t know rent was due EVERY month. Please forgive me, I’m new at this.” CHIN HAIRS DON’T LET YOU LIVE THAT LIE. Pay attention to the universe’s signs, and get laser hair removal before it’s too late.