Cannibal forever or just today?

The last time I got to go home and enjoy some time with my family led to heartfelt conversations, great debates, and the discussion of many important questions. I think I walked away a little bit wiser from them all, but the one I keep coming back to was posed by my 12 year old nephew who might just have a place here at questionsbigandsmall one day. No worries, you won’t have to channel your adolescent mind because this is a topic for either all ages or really no one at all and we should just stop talking about it.

If a cannibal stops eating human flesh, do you still refer to them as a cannibal?

First, I think it is important that we familiarize ourselves with the term. Wikipedia defines Cannibalism as the act or practice of humans eating the flesh or internal organs of other human beings. A person who practices cannibalism is called a cannibal.

Hear out the arguments from both sides and then see where you lay on the spectrum.

Option 1: No. Similar to a vegetarian, eating human flesh was just a part of their diet. Like a vegetarian, vegan, or any other title of a person with a specific diet, when they break that diet then they are no longer under the label. Ex: “Patsy isn’t a cannibal anymore because she hasn’t eaten a human in three weeks!”


Option 2. Yes. Similar to a murderer, eating human flesh is a destructive trait that you will always associate with them. Like a murderer, this reputation will live with them forever regardless of their current dietary choices. “Patsy is cannibal because she ate a human three weeks ago!”


I honestly believe that there are some missing pieces to this question, but what better place for it to be asked than here.


Hotdogs: What are they really?

There has always been an air of mystery surrounding hot dogs. What are they made from? What food group do they fall into? What is the best way to refer to this weiner smooshed in between some bread? How do we hold it? Is there a better way to eat it? SO MUCH MYSTERY. Well, we are here to get to the bottom of it.

First and foremost, I would like to point out that hot dogs are not sandwiches they are a beautiful creation that fits to no category but their own. Plus, you can buy them at Walmart at the knockdown price of 8 for $0.98. They deserve some respect. If anything, hot dogs are more suited to be called tacos. You eat them like a taco (unless you’re highly uneducated on hot dog eating) and from a distance they are often confused with tacos. I probably can’t even count the times on one hand that I walked into the kitchen seeing a taco only to find out that it was a glorious hot dog. Though they might be able to find their own niche in the taco category, hot dogs can stand alone.

The biggest question surrounding the hot dog craze is obviously, “What are they made of?”. I can only take an educated guess. I would like to think that hot dog marketers have been telling us the truth and they are in fact made of dog, but I have a strong suspicion that we have been boldly lied to. I have an alternate theory, it revolves around the missing unicorns, leprechauns, and all the other magical creatures we’ve been told exist but have never seen. The reason that hot dogs taste so good, and no one seems to really know what is in them is because hot dog manufacturers have been killing unicorns for years. They are made by the Keebler elves in a tree during the cookie off season.

Ok. Obviously that is ridiculous. I don’t know what is in hot dogs, and I honestly don’t want to. I would rather keep the magic alive. It’s just like those two years of my life where I told myself I was a vegetarian, but I could still eat fuego’s bean and cheese tacos because “I didn’t know” that they had lard in them. The highlight of not knowing what hot dogs are made of is that we can say that they provide all the food groups. Its a real life Schroedinger’s Cat type situation.

As for how to hold/eat them. There is only one right way, and if you’re not right you’re wrong. If you’re wrong, thats just plain savage. Be smart. Eat your hot dogs the right way.